The Reason
by LivKnightley
Summary: I think The Reason by Hoobastank is a pretty fitting song for a LilyJames fic, don't you? Focuses mainly on Lily and James from sixth year up til their deaths. My first attempt, please read and review!
1. Chapter One

CHAPTER ONE

"POTTER!"

"Miss Evans, what is the matter?" Professor Flitwick asked as he scurried away from a group of sixth years practicing Sticking Charms.

"I-he-the-ARGH!" Lily Evans angrily pushed her flaming red hair out of her eyes with her left hand, as her right was currently occupied. Frustrated by the sudden absence of her usually articulate vocabulary, she tried again. "Professor, it's all Potter's fault, he -"

The boy with impossibly messy black hair sitting beside her exploded. "All MY fault! This is most definitely not MY fault!"

Lily snapped. "THIS ISN'T YOUR FAULT?" She abruptly shoved off the table edge and stood up. She immediately fell backwards, taking the bench and one James Potter with her. When the nearby classmates saw why they fell, reactions were varied.

Sirius Black, James' best friend, immediately doubled over laughing hysterically, his long dark hair falling in front of his face in a way that was often imitated, but never duplicated.

Remus Lupin, a sandy haired boy with peculiar golden eyes, merely stared at his best friend, mouth agape.

Peter Pettigrew, a blond, slightly chubby boy, broke out in a fit of giggles, alternating glances between James, Sirius, and Remus, his role models and friends.

Fina Parker, one of Lily's best friends, shook with silent mirth, but had the decency not to burst out laughing.

Paige Losen, Lily's other right hand girl, was a different story. She was doing the same as Sirius, except her hair was curly instead of straight, and she was wearing glasses.

When the various guffaws, hoots, and snorts subsided, Remus finally found his voice.

"James…what did you do?"

"Well, it's obvious, isn't it? Sirius said, looking as though someone had told him his two favorite colors (tangerine and chartreuse) really did go well together. "Dear Jamsiekins' Sticking Charm went terribly wrong, joining himself and Lily at the – at the -" here he collapsed into giggles so severe he could barely choke out the rest of his sentence – "at the hip!"

Rolling his eyes heavenward in supplication, Remus muttered "Silencio!", effectively shutting Sirius up.

In the meantime, Professor Flitwick had done his best to reverse James' Sticking Charm.

"Oh dear, Mr. Potter, you've done something very odd, very odd indeed. I just hope Madam Pomfrey can fix it, go on now!" he squeaked, prodding them in the back.

James made to stand up, but Lily wasn't quick enough and they crashed back on the floor, triggering a fresh wave of laughter and a new bout of angry miming from Sirius to Remus. Angrily, and clumsily, Lily and James stalked/hobbled towards the Hospital Wing. Their shouts echoed down the corridors to a highly amused Charms class.

"This is all your fault!"

"If you had just helped me when I asked -"

"You're second in our year in Charms, Potter!"

"Well, forgive me for having a momentary lapse of talent -"

"Momentary lapse of talent, there's your ego running unchecked again -"

"Well, you were the one trying to pry us apart with your bare hands -"

"I was frustrated, Potter, not that you would understand that -"

"Oh that's rich, you think you understand me -"

"Well there's not much to understand, is there!"

"I swear if you weren't so gorgeous I'd give you a kick right up the -"

"If I didn't think I'd cause serious damage to myself in the process I'd kill you right now!"

"If I didn't think I'd cause serious damage to myself in the process I'd kiss you right now!"

"ARGH!"


	2. Chapter Two

CHAPTER TWO

Back in the Gryffindor common room, Remus had turned the volume back up on Sirius, who had immediately proceeded to exercise his vocal chords vigorously.

"♫ - WALK THIS WAY! TALK THIS WAY! WALK THIS ♫ - hey Moony!"

Remus, deeply absorbed in Numerology and Grammatica, appeared not to hear him.

"Mooooony! MOONY! MOONY YOU CAN TAKE YOUR EARPLUGS OUT NOW!"

"What?" Remus finally tore his eyes away from the heavy tome, and was immediately confronted by Sirius' snapping fingers. "What is it?"

"Where is everyone?"

Remus looked around the deserted common room. "They..uh…they didn't feel worthy of your singing…talents…so they….crawled away in abject humility?"

Sirius nodded knowingly, apparently satisfied. "Why aren't Lily and James back?"

Remus grunted. It was generally a bad idea to disturb him in the middle of reading.

For about two minutes, Sirius walked around the common room, fiddling with various knick knacks and humming the Electric Slide. Eventually he sucked in a huge breath and said the words – "I'm bored."

Muscles spasming noticeably, Remus pushed aside his quill, ink, and book before Sirius even finished the sentence. "Come on then, let's go find Lily and James."

"Wow, that was fast. Were you expecting me to say that?"

"You think?"

Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth (camels yes, but not horses), Sirius followed Remus out of the portrait hole.

By the time they reached the Hospital Wing, Sirius' handsome head had been replaced by a large kiwi fruit. Madam Prifton nearly burst a blood vessel when they came through the door.

"Sirius, what happened?" she exclaimed as she restored his head to its normal self, and then proceeded to give him exorbitant amounts of candy.

"I was being a git, so Remus attacked me. No big deal," Sirius said nonchalantly as he started to sift through the candy. Madam Prifton bustled out of the room muttering something about responsibility.

"You know they put dried Billywig stings in those, don't you?" Remus commented as Sirius selected a Fizzing Whizbee.

"Really?" Sirius asked, quirking an eyebrow. He eyeballed the treat for about eight seconds before popping it into his mouth.

"So James," Remus began, turning toward the sorry figure huddled in the fetal position on a bed. "You want to tell us why you're shivering in your timbers and whatnot?"

"Why is James still here but Lily isn't?" Sirius asked.

"Generally, if James is in the hospital and Lily isn't, it means she put him there," Remus said, sounding remarkably like a weatherman.

James rocked back and forth.

"Oh," Sirius said. "Well, Jamsiepoo, you do remember what night tonight is, don't you?"

"Yeah, come on. We have to prepare," Remus chimed in.

James sat bolt upright, a mischievous grin on his face and a slightly crazed look in his eye. He jumped out of bed and proclaimed, "Let's do it."


	3. Chapter Three

CHAPTER THREE

Lily walked into the sixth year Gryffindor girls' dorm, opened her mouth to scream, and was cut off by two fluffy objects whacking her upside the head in quick succession.

"All right, all right, I won't scream!" she cried, trying to fend off the vicious pillows being wielded by her two best friends.

"Just had to make sure," Fina smiled.

"Now tell us what cruel and unusual punishment you made James suffer this time," Paige smirked.

"It was only a Freezing Charm," Lily said, growing slightly pink.

"A Freezing Charm where?" Paige said slowly.

"It only lasted for five minutes!" Lily said defensively.

"A Freezing Charm where?" Paige repeated.

"Somewhere that is very special to Potter, okay!" Lily said, turning beet red.

"Lily!" Paige exclaimed, looking shocked.

"You didn't," Fina said, an expression of dismay on her face.

"Well, the big baby will get over it sooner or later," Lily said huffily, compulsively rearranging her bookshelf. In a back corner of the top shelf, her hand closed around a bottle of some sort. Curious, she pulled it down.

"Whose perfume is this?" she asked, holding the bottle aloft.

"Not mine," Paige replied.

"Er – it's mine," Fina muttered.

"Why do you have perfume, and why were you hiding it?" Lily asked, arching an eyebrow. Fina mumbled something.

"You're what?" Paige asked. Fina mumbled again. "YOU'RE GOING ON A DATE? DID YOU HEAR THAT LILY? FINA'S GOING ON A DATE!"

"I HEARD!" Lily shouted, hastily putting a song on.

"WOOHOO LET'S DANCE!" Paige yelled. The chords of a Madonna song began to play, and Lily and Paige started to sing.

"♫ Like a virgin, hey! For the very first time - ♫"

"Guys!" Fina stood by the CD player, her hand on the stop button. "What am I going to wear?"

An hour later, Paige and Lily stood back and admired their handiwork.

"Stunning."

"Brilliant."

"Great job on the highlights, Paige, they came out really well."

"Thanks, Lils. Fabulous outfit you picked out, very flattering."

"Thanks. I want to prank the Marauders."

Paige took a step back and tripped over a trunk, while Fina's mouth and perfume bottle dropped at the same time.

"Prank the Marauders? As in James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter?"

"The mischievous Marauders? The maniacal Marauders? The monkey Marauders? The macho Marauders? The madcap Marauders? The magnetic Marauders? The misunderstood Marauders? The - "

"Okay Paige, that's enough."

"Sorry. But how do you prank the best pranksters on earth?"

"It's never been done before."

Lily grinned widely. "Well, there's a first time for everything, isn't there? Now listen carefully…."


	4. Chapter Four

CHAPTER FOUR

It was late at night, and everyone at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was sound asleep in their dormitories.

Well, almost everyone.

"Wormtail, are you sure it's steady?"

"Steady as it'll ever be, you can go ahead and let go now."

"Okay, it's done. How long does this last again, Moony?"

"It stays in effect until lunch tomorrow, Prongs, I've told you four times."

"Just making sure we didn't screw it up, that's all."

"Since when do we screw up pranks, Prongs? Can I please start the victory dance now?"

"Knock yourself out, Padfoot."

The moon had seen many a strange sight at Hogwarts, but none so strange as what it was witnessing now. Four boys stood on the edge of the lake, one doing a very enthusiastic Electric Slide, as the giant squid swam lazily away from the cluster of sleeping students on mattresses at the center of the lake.


	5. Chapter Five

CHAPTER FIVE

"Fina, do you want to tell us why this boy arranged the date for 1:30 AM?" Lily asked tiredly. As this was Fina's first date since fourth year (she was pretty picky), Paige and Lily had decided to wait up with her.

Paige yawned widely. "Well, it's 1:29 now. If he's not here at 1:30, I'm going to bed. I have pirates and pistachios to dream about."

After living with Paige for five years, Fina and Lily weren't even fazed by this random statement. Although in all fairness, Fina wasn't really listening. She was busy chewing her nails down to the limit and then using a Nail Growth Charm to restore them. Paige and Lily were playing Exploding Snap; they had given up trying to make Fina tell them who her mystery man was.

"BOOM!" The cards exploded.

"Stupid bloody cards!" Paige exclaimed, wiping soot off her face. "I was just about to win, too!"

Right then, the portrait hole swung open to reveal none other than…


	6. Chapter Six

CHAPTER SIX

"_Sirius?!_ Fina, you agreed to go on a date with Sirius Black?!" Lily screeched. She couldn't believe it. Despite her own personal agenda against Dumb and Dumber, as she liked to call Sirius and James, Lily would never have put Fina and Sirius together. Fina was much more into the quiet bookish type versus a ladies man like Sirius.

"Oh, Merlin no!" Fina exclaimed, looking mortified. "Never!"

"Why not?" Paige said indignantly. "What's wrong with him?" Lily and Fina stared at her for a beat before turning to face the four boys now in front of the fire. James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were all glancing warily at Lily, fearing some lecture on breaking curfew. When nothing happened, Remus stepped forward.

"Shall we go then, Fina?" he asked politely.

"That's better!" Paige and Lily said in relief. Remus looked at them questioningly, but decided not to pursue it.

"Where are we going" Fina shyly asked.

"Hogsmeade," Remus said promptly.

Fina looked uncertain. "But that's out of bounds. That's against the rules."

"Come on, Fina! People are always saying I should be more spontaneous, you don't want to ruin that, do you?" he implored, offering her his arm. After a moment of thought, she took it, and he swiftly pulled her out into the hallway.

"Be back by four!" Lily called after them, smiling to herself.

"Evans, has anyone ever told you that you sound like a mother when you say things like that?" James smirked.

Lily's smile disappeared. "And there was me thinking you never listened to your mother," she snapped. She spun on her heel and stomped up to the girls' dorm. Looking extremely put out, James stormed up to his own.

Paige and Sirius each took out a small notebook.

"Well, I would say Lily definitely won that one."

"Me too. What does that bring today's count up to?"

"Lily 218, James 217."

"That's what I got, too. Same thing tomorrow, Black?"

"Looking forward to it, Losen. C'mon Peter, let's go to bed."


	7. Chapter Seven

Thank you to my two, count 'em, TWO, lovely reviewers. I was scared that I was going to outright suck at this writing gig….but hey! Thanks again!

CHAPTER SEVEN

Remus was usually very considerate of others needs. Which is why his roommates nearly suffered collective heart attacks when he strolled in crooning a love song at five in the morning.

" – ♫ only fools rush in, but I can't help falling in lo -"

"Why in the name of all things sacred, namely my beauty sleep, are you singing old Elvis songs at this ungodly hour?!" yelled Sirius. James contributed by hurling a pillow at Remus' head. Peter just turned over and gave a loud snore. Remus, unperturbed, continued singing and waltzed his way into the bathroom, chucking the pillow back at James along the way.

"Have a good date, Moony?" James called sarcastically.

"Prongs, if he's singing love songs, I think it's pretty safe to say the date went fairly well," Sirius said seriously (oh look! A pun!).

James stared at him in disbelief. "Go back to sleep. You're smarter that way."

"All righty," Sirius said good naturedly. He flopped back onto his four poster and began to snore. James pulled the covers over his head and was soon asleep. Remus floated out a minute later. He'd finished his first tune and was onto yet another Elvis classic that no one can name nowadays. He climbed into bed, and fell asleep with an easy smile plastered across his face. Everything was peaceful.

At least, it was peaceful until approximately 7:14 AM, at which point shrieks coming from the lake split the air.

"Women and children first!" James yelled, sitting bolt upright in bed, glasses askew.

"James, mate, it's just the Slytherins!" shouted Sirius, giving James a good shake.

"Come on, slowpokes, I want to see the mayhem!" Remus hollered.

"Eager beaver," James muttered, pulling on some pants.

"Let's go let's go let's go!"

"ALL RIGHT ALL RIGHT I'M COMING DON'T HAVE AN IGUANA!"

"Cow."

"What?"

"Don't have a cow."

"I'm not the one having a cow, you are!"

"But – oh, never mind."


	8. Chapter Eight

Since this is all in my English journal for a grade, I had to do a character guide so Mrs. Kendrick would understand. Is anyone interested in me posting it?

CHAPTER EIGHT

The Marauders walked into the Potions classroom chortling about their latest escapade.

"Did you see the look on Snivellus' face when he woke up?" James chuckled.

"He looked shocked out of his mind!" Remus choked out through his laughter.

"I'd be shocked too if I hadn't bathed in two years and woke up one day surrounded by water," Sirius said nastily.

Good one, Padfoot," Peter sniggered. "Malfoy was the best, though."

"Oh my goodness, not water! I can't get my hair wet now, it'll frizz, and then I might die!" James squealed mockingly, dramatically fainting backwards into Sirius' arms, who promptly dropped him.

"Thanks a lot, mate," James said grumpily, rubbing his backside.

Sirius flashed a winning smile. "Hey, what are friends for?"

All of a sudden, Remus' coloring dropped another notch. "Lily alert, Lily alert!" he whispered frantically.

"Bollocks, where can we hide?" James said.

"Quick, behind the cauldrons!" Sirius said. But before they could move, a voice came slicing through the air.

"JAMES POTTER!"

"Damn," James swore under his breath, turning to face the fiery redhead with her hands on her hips. "Evans! Fancy meeting you here!"

"What were you thinking?" hissed an irate Lily, poking James hard in the chest to emphasize each word. "What if someone didn't know how to swim? That was really dangerous!"

"Evans, we put a Bubble Head Charm on each and every one of them. There's no way anyone could've drowned," James said patiently.

"Well, what about the giant squid?" faltered Lily, thrown by the revelation that for once, James Potter had taken someone else's needs into account.

"The giant squid wouldn't hurt a fly. You know that."

"Oh. Well," Lily said, feeling a bit stupid. "Um…sorry for assuming your prank was more reckless than it was."

"Water under the bridge," James grinned, running his hand through his hair. "Feeling generous enough to go on a date with me?"

"You little -" sputtered Lily. Throwing her hands up in exasperation, she fumed over to her cauldron across the room.

James slid behind his cauldron just as Professor Rinehart entered the room. "Take your seats, take your seats," the Potions master drawled. "Rather than clean up after the spats Gryffindors always start when paired with Slytherins, today I'm letting you pick your own partners. Today only, mind you! Groups of no more than four. Your instructions -" he tapped the board twice with his wand, magically revealing writing – "are on the board. Supplies are in the closet. Begin."

Thirty minutes later, the Babbling Bile was well under way, and James was bored. He poked Remus in the back of the head, but Remus didn't notice. Sirius studied him for a moment, then poked him in the side of the face. No reaction. James poked him in the side, but nothing happened. Sirius planted his face about an inch away from Remus' ear, and then poked it. Nothing.

After five minutes of unsuccessful attempts to provoke Remus by poking, James grabbed his nose hard with some metal tongs.

"Damn it James, I'm trying to count!" bellowed Remus.

"Potter, Black, Lupin, Pettigrew, detention in my office at 8 o'clock," Professor Rinehart said lazily.

Remus and Peter groaned, but James and Sirius were ecstatic.

"Yeah! One step closer to the all time record of detentions! Thanks, Professor!"


	9. Chapter Nine

Oh my God, 16 reviews…I love you guys, Merry Christmas!

CHAPTER NINE

Early Saturday morning, Lily, James, and Sirius were having an interesting conversation.

"The Water Planeteer is way hotter than the Wind Planeteer!" argued Sirius.

James shook his head vehemently. "No way, the Wind girl was way hotter. And she was foreign, from Russia or something."

"Her accent would drive me insane. The Water chick was Asian, but no accent. So there." Sirius said, as if that settled the matter.

"Well, you're both wrong," said Lily, not looking up from her Charms book.

James blinked. "Come again?"

"There are only two girl Planeteers, Lillian," Sirius said smugly. "I guess you don't know everything after all!"

Lily flipped a page. "I never said it was a girl," she said coolly.

"Oh," said Sirius, deflating a bit. "Well, who do you think is the hottest, then?" he said belligerently.

"The Fire Planeteer," Lily said, getting a slightly mistly look in her eye. James looked like he was about to be sick. Sirius howled hysterically, banging his fists against the table until a well chosen remark from Lily shut him up.

"You know, Black, you would make a really good woman," she said thoughtfully.

Sirius stopped laughing. "You think so?"

James picked up where Sirius left off, laughing so hard he slipped sideways on the couch, crashing onto a disgusted Lily, who shoved him onto the floor.

"Come on, think about it," Lily urged. "He's not scarily muscled, he's got amazing bone structure, and he's got the Charlie's Angels hair flip down already!"

Sirius demonstrated obligingly, tossing his hair around in slow motion as he catwalked around the common room.

"I see what you mean," James commented. "So, could you do it?"

Lily started. "What?"

"Could you make Sirius over into a woman?" James asked as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Yeah…" Lily said slowly.

"Well, come on, then!" said James, pulling Sirius and Lily up the staircase to the boys' dorm.


	10. Chapter Ten

CHAPTER TEN

"Yowch!"

"Hold still, Black!"

Sirius smacked Lily's hand away and rubbed his eye tenderly. "Aren't you supposed to put eyeliner around the outside of your eye?" he asked plaintively.

Lily suppressed a sigh. "It looks more natural on the inside, you dolt."

Sirius stared blankly at her. "Remind me why I'm doing this again?"

"Because James told you it would be fun," answered Remus, who was using a wizard video camera to document the whole process.

A grin crept onto Sirius' face. "What say we make this more interesting?"

"How so?" Lily said suspiciously. Remus focused his camera lens.

"Nothing too fancy," Sirius said innocently. "If I, in woman form, can get thirty dates by dinnertime, then you go on a date with Prongsie here."

"YES!" James yelled, jumping up and punching the air with his fist.

Lily gave Sirius an appraising look. After deliberating for a bit, she said "All right, but when you lose -"

"If I lose," Sirius interrupted.

"If you lose," Lily amended, "Then Potter leaves me alone for a month."

"NO!" bellowed James, sinking to his knees and burying his face in the rug.

"Get a grip, James" said Sirius impatiently. "You're not going to lose. Look at me."

James paused his theatrical sobbing to take a look at the newly feminine Sirius. His dark hair was now platinum blond. Naturally, he had makeup on – mascara, eye shadow, lip gloss, the works. A Shrinking Charm had cut about six inches off his height. He wore a short black dress of Lily's, and a very padded pushup bra underneath. He had even shaved his legs. Sirius Black made quite an attractive female.

"You're right," James grinned. "We are winning this thing."

Even Lily looked a little apprehensive. "I don't have to snog him on this date if you win, do I?"

Sirius looked like a cat with a mouse. "Oh no, Lilyflower. You just have to wear this dress."

"I am never wearing that dress again," she grimaced.

James looked like a five year old on his birthday. "You need a girly name, don't you, mate?"

"How about Stacy?" Lily offered. Sirius shook his head vehemently.

"My name is Robin Agneau. Not Stacy."

James stared for a moment before recovering his composure. "All right, let me kick things off. Robin Agneau, my name's James Potter. Will you go on a date with me?

Sirius tittered in a girly fashion. "Of course, Jamsiekins!"

Lily groaned.

"One down, twenty nine to go," Sirius said in a sing song voice.

James' hazel eyes focused on Remus. "Moony! Ask Sirius out!"

Remus looked scandalized. "Not a chance! I can't interfere, that'd be a conflict of interest! This is a documentary I'm filming here!"

James pouted. "Fine, Remy, be that way."

"And you guys probably shouldn't talk to me, either," Remus added thoughtfully. "This film needs to be unbiased."

James shook his head. "You are sick, do you know that? Just sick."

A thought popped into Lily's head. "Yes! Now I'll know if you guys cheated or not!"

"You doubt my ability to get thirty dates by dinnertime?" cried an outraged Sirius.

Lily ignored him. "Remus, I need that tape at dinner."

"Don't talk to me!" said a frustrated Remus.

James, Sirius, and Lily quickly looked anywhere except at the camera.

"So Sirius…I mean, Robin," James smirked.

Sirius smiled in what he thought was a seductive way. "Yes, James?"

"I reckon it's time to set you loose in the halls of Hogwarts."

"I'd have to agree with you there."

James offered Sirius his arm. "Shall we?"

Sirius linked arms with his best friend. "We shall."

They set off down the staircase that led to the common room, Remus and his camera following close behind.


	11. Chapter Eleven

Oh. My. God. Twenty nine reviews. TWENTY NINE! Even if all the really good fics I've read get hundreds, twenty nine is a lot to me! Thanks! Now, I'm off to NYC tomorrow, and I get back on the thirtieth. I shall have a good chapter all set to post by then, I'm sure. In the meantime, y'all will just have to settle with Robin Agneau's first, other than James, date offer. Or date offers. Hmm….

CHAPTER ELEVEN

"Here we go," James whispered as he strolled confidently into the common room with Sirius Black – Robin Agneau on his arm. As they neared the center of the room, dozens of tiny red dots appeared on Sirius-Robin's face, chest, legs, and bum. That is, assuming that the males in the common room had laser beams on their eyes. Which they didn't, so never mind. Ignore all that. authoress slaps herself and yells "FOCUS!"

James climbed onto the table and stood up. He cleared his throat as if he wanted to make an announcement. No one paid him any attention; they were far too busy staring at Sirius-Robin. He cleared his throat louder. This gained him the attention of his loyal fan club, but not the attention of the boys, which he needed.

"FARRAH FAWCETT IS ON THE COVER OF THE NEW PLAYBOY MAGAZINE!"

There were several audible cracks as every boy's head snapped around to look at James. Many of them were rubbing their necks from whiplash.

"Right," said James. "Er – I don't really know if Farrah's on the cover or not -" the crowd grumbled irritably – "- but my friend here is thinking about attending Hogwarts next year and I just wanted to introduce her to everyone!"

He paused to gauge the mob's mood, and seeing that the Playboy gag wasn't enough to get himself tarred and feathered, he continued. "Yeah. Okay. So this here is my childhood playmate Robin Agbow -"

"AgNEAU!"

"Whatever. Where was I? Oh yes, Robin and I go way back. I remember we used to play in the sandbox together. She would build palaces for her Barbies and I would build forts for my G.I. Joes. I remember this one time, she kicked my fort down, and I got her back by chopping all of her Barbies' hair off. Oh, it was a wonderful friendship, full of laughter and tears, achievements and fail -"

Sirius-Robin, who was by this time on the table with James, ground his-her heel squarely on James' toe.

"OW – I mean, but that lovely camaraderie was cut short by her father's job transfer to America. Well do I remember the tears I shed on that fateful moving day! Only four years old, and to already suffer such a loss! I wept for days on end, and nothing could console me. Not my mother, my father, not TV, not even the hot seven year old girl that lived up the str -"

"Anyway," said Sirius-Robin, cutting James off. "I've been attending school in Salem, but I'm thinking about coming here next year, so I'm here today to check things out." He-she added a sexy half-laugh for good measure.

"So everyone please show her a good time!" said James. "A really good time. A really good time."

And crap now my mom's making me go pack and I'm not going to be able to finish this until I get back oh well I AM POSTING IT DAMMIT!


	12. Chaptere Eleven continued

Heeeeeeeeere's Johnny! Okay, not really. I have nothing on the great Johnny Carson. But I do have the rest of that last chapter done!

CHAPTER ELEVEN CONTINUED

James and Sirius slowly climbed down from the table, not wanting to trigger any impulsive reactions, and braced themselves for the onslaught of date offers. But nothing happened. Sirius glanced around, but any boy who he made eye contact with quickly blushed and looked at the floor.

"Er – Robin? Can we talk?" James didn't wait for an answer; he clamped onto Sirius' arm and dragged him as far away from everyone else in the room as possible.

"Sirius," James whispered through clenched teeth, "You intimidate them."

Sirius did a double take. "What?"

James looked as if he was having an extremely painful internal struggle. "You. Are. Too. Hot. You scare them off! I'm never getting a date with Lily and it's all your fault!"

"Don't blame me for being really, really ridiculously good looking!"

"Well it's certainly no fault of your mother's!"

"Can't say you're wrong there. But calm down, I know how to fix this!'

Leaving James gibbering in the corner, Sirius sauntered straight up to a quiet mouse of a boy. Or, to be more specific, a rat.

"Your name's Peter, right?" Sirius asked in a high, breathy voice. Peter was obviously floored. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, and just settled for nodding.

"James has told me so much about you," Sirius gushed. "You're an expert on Honeyduke's, is that right?"

Peter nodded.

"Well, I've never been to Honeyduke's," said Sirius, twirling a lock of his blond hair around his finger.

"W – would you like to go with me sometime?" Peter blurted.

"It's a date!" Sirius said, smiling brightly as he turned away.

And that's when pandemonium erupted.

Sirius was being bombarded with date offers when Remus whistled loudly. Everyone paused to stare at him.

"Though I do offer my sincerest thanks for providing the stampede scene for my documentary, I do require some semblance of order, so EVERYBODY GET IN A BLOODY LINE!"

Shocked into submission, everyone rushed to form a single file line in front of the coffee table.

Remus massaged his left temple with his free hand. "That didn't apply to you two."

Grinning sheepishly, James and Sirius sidestepped out of the line.

"James, can you manage the camera for a bit?"

"Sure."

The camera transferred hands, and Remus summoned a quill, ink, and some parchment from their dorm.

"Now," he said as he slammed the materials down in front of the cowering crowd, "anyone wishing to take Miss Agneau on a date will sign here."

"How come you're in charge?" someone called insolently from the line.

Remus narrowed his eyes dangerously. "I," he said softly, "am Miss Agneau's agent."

"Oy!" Sirius whined. "I'm not a prostitute!"

"Shut it," Remus growled. Sirius pouted, but in a very fetching way.

"Start signing, damn it, I've got things to do!"

Galvanised into action, the boys were gone in a flurry of quill feathers and ink spray.

Remus held out his hand. "James, my camera?"

James handed it back to him, his expression bordering on awe. "Way to take charge, mate."

"Always knew you made a good figure of authority," Sirius said cheerily. "Count 'em up, Jamsiekins."

"Way ahead of you, mate," said James, his eyed skimming the sign – up parchment. He let out a yelp of glee.

"How many, how many?" Sirius asked excitedly.

"Twelve! We're nearly halfway there and it's only eleven thirty!"

"I reckon it's time for a victory dance!" said Sirius as he started into the Electric Slide.

James slapped him hard in the back of the head. "Idiot! If someone sees you doing that they'll know it's you!"

Remus opened the portrait hole and yelled, "Nous allons à la salle de manger, mes amis! To the watering hole!"

"Say what?"

"I think he meant the Great Hall, Padfoot."

"Oh. Right."


End file.
